It won’t be easy, and you’ll likely feel waves of regret washing over you. This can be a sign that you’re working on your sense of morality. It might be helpful to resort to the moral inventory that you’ve made for step four of the program. There isn’t one “right” way to make amends as part of your 12-step program, which might make you even more worried.
Tips To Be Healthier In 2026
But whether you choose to make living amends or traditional direct amends, there’s no denying that the ninth step doesn’t exist in a vacuum. When I first came to recovery, I was https://rventuresinc.co/about-the-cdc-kaiser-ace-study-violence-prevention/ certain steps 8 and 9 would be a breeze. After all, I hadn’t hurt anyone (Step 8), so I didn’t need to make any amends (Step 9). In fact, every day I make a living amends to my husband, son, Mom, and brother Ricky.
Take the Next Steps
By acknowledging our past, we learn to forgive ourselves, which nurtures personal development and fosters momentum towards positive progress. The what is Oxford House more we think about the past, the more we are doomed to repeat ourselves and go back to it. Making amends makes it possible for us to live in the present, focusing on building the life of our dreams in recovery. The journey of the amends process gives a promise of experiencing a new freedom and a new happiness.
It’s written as an early biography from the point of view of Dr Bob, AKA Robert living amends Holbrook Smith, co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. It’s very illuminating and adds to the backstory of Bill W. The star feature of this book is that it features selected writings written by the Alcoholics Anonymous co-founder Bill W.
What is the 8th step?
Call us or fill out our online contact form today to get started. The Big Book provides a column-based structure for writing an effective inventory, focusing on who we’ve harmed, what was affected, and our part in it. Taking this step thoroughly and honestly clears the path for real healing and transformation.
When You Don’t Actually Know the Affected Person
Throughout this page, you’ll find helpful resources and additional content designed to deepen your understanding of the Twelve Steps and support your personal recovery. Explore the tools shared here to take meaningful steps toward lasting sobriety and spiritual awakening. The recovery process builds upon each step in your sober journey.

Get the Help Your Loved One Deserves
I absolutely recommend this book to anyone trying to stay sober. Once you have reached sobriety, the trick is to stay in that state and remain there. No matter how many times you get tempted to pop in a bar, or purchase a small bottle or two. What I love about this book is just how quick it is to read. You can read it while you’re in a waiting room, waiting for an appointment.
When Direct Amends Do More Harm Than Good
Covers topics such as attending events where alcohol is served, relationships in sobriety and much more. After the first approach, discussion with our sponsor, and diligent prayer, it’s time us to keep their appointment with the person to whom we are going to make amends. Alcoholics Anonymous, also known as the “Big Book,” presents the A.A. First published in 1939, its purpose was to show other alcoholics how the first 100 people of A.A.

- Before completing step nine, the recovering alcoholic needs to be ready to deliver their message with the best intentions, not motivated by false expectations.
- The first edition of this book was published as far back as 1939, but since then, it has been updated and changed.
After driving others away with your self-destructive behavior, making amends is one way to start repairing those connections. Admitting the wrongdoing is the initial step in developing your amends script. An important element of step nine is that those in recovery have already begun making amends to themselves by changing some of their behaviors, attitudes, and beliefs.
We try to repair the damage, however indirect or incomplete the reparation may be. There may be some wrongs we can never fully right says the A.A. We don’t worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could. On the other hand, we cannot avoid an amend just because it would result in pain and suffering or any other negative consequence to our selves alone. Living Sober was written by AA member Barry Leach and first published in 1975 by AA World Services with an update involving slight changes in 2012.